Musings of His Muse
by Allistair
Summary: AU, the stage is set for Don Juan Triumphant, and Erik gives himself a moment on the roof to collect his thoughts and overhears Christine doing the same. What warm unspoken secrets will he learn? EC


**_Musings of His Muse_**

_Allistair

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**Summery:** AU, the stage is set for Don Juan Triumphant, and Erik gives himself a moment on the roof to collect his thoughts and overhears Christine doing the same. What warm unspoken secrets will he learn? E/C _

**Influences:** A little Kay, but more ALW Film. I can't remember if Erik knew Don Juan Triumphant was a trap, but lets just say he does, artistic license and all that…

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There was **nothing**. Snow was falling, the wind breezed past leisurely bringing a chill to the air, but he noticed none of it. How could he? There was nothing in him but… anger, and hate. That was it. 

How **dare **she? He wanted so much to hate her, so long he had tried to blame others. Raoul made her do these things to torment him. The boy, everything was fine before _he_ appeared. Erik was still the Angel of Music and Christine had no reason to fear him. In his distraction his footsteps crunched against the ground, creating noise that did not usually follow him, as he had to face the truth.

_Christine_ had betrayed him. _Christine_ was going to trap him tonight. She wanted to, had plotted to with her lover. Erik felt sick at the word. His Christine had someone else, had found her Angel was nothing but a man and had fled to another in fear. Just like everyone who had seen him before.

Walking around one of the statues Erik allowed himself to fall to his knees behind it. So many unspoken words now burnt on his misshapen lips. He wanted to curse God with every breath in his body. Wanted to curse Christine and the boy. What he wouldn't give to just put the noose around his neck and watch the life leave him.But how could he blame them all for acting the way they did? A monster was all they'd ever see.

And now it's what he had become.

The door to the roof was flung open and startled him from his thoughts. As the wind picked up all he could distinguish of this person was a mass of brown curls, but that was enough. Mlle. Daaé.

Erik remained silent, staying to the shadows as he'd always done. Half of him expected the boy to come rushing after her any minute… but as Christine fell to her knees in the freshly fallen snow and sat sobbing no one ever came. Then came the temptation again. Without the boy he could take her now, tonight, and get away while the fop was organizing his plans to capture le Phantom. But her tears quelled this desire to possess for a moment. He could never see her suffer. Never.

Who had done this to her?

Lifting her head up to the sky Erik could see her slightly illuminated in the moonlight. Her pale face flushed red with tears, her tiny frame shaking from the force of her sobs. It was almost too painful for him to watch, but if he came out of hiding now…

She wiped her cheeks lightly with her hands and took a steadying breath before rising to her feet once again, half-heartedly brushing the snow off her skirt. Crossing her arms tightly over her chest she walked a little as she tried to calm herself fully, compose herself. The show would start soon, Erik thought briefly, his keen eyes still watching her every move. Still no fop. 'Forgive me' she murmured, so softly Erik almost missed it. His heart leapt for a second, but he reasoned that she could not know he was there.

'Forgive me God' she continued softly,'I am afraid' she admits quietly 'I can't do this, I don't know how I ever thought…' she sighed 'the way this is demanded of me, can't they see how this will end? Forgive me God' she repeated eventually 'for they ask me to hurt your Angel'.

_Angel_? Erik moved amongst the shadows as she started to wander away from his gaze, soon he was near her again. So close he could smell her sweet scent on the winter air. So close he could just reach out and…

'I know what he has done, I know of Buquet and all that he has told me of his past…but I'm so confused!' she looked around herself quickly, as if checking to be sure she was alone. Erik held his breath, not out of necessity but out of … was it hope now that replaced the rage? Curiosity? '_Pitiful creature of darkness, what kind of life have you known?_' she sand softly, her voice breaking as she reached the last word, but she didn't let herself start crying again. 'Why can I not hate him?' she asked aloud 'why do I fear hearing his voice in my head, but fear more not hearing it ever again?' more questions, none of which he had answers to.

'I can't escape from him, I never will' she said under her breath. Her breath caught in her throat for a moment, 'do I want to?' she mused anxiously. Erik fell back against the wall and closed his eyes quickly. He heard the door open once again, and young Meg Girys' voice drifted to his ears.

'Christine? You will be needing to get ready for the Opera now, Ma asked me to fetch you' opening his eyes once again Erik could see the concern in the young girls eyes. 'Has Raoul done this to you?' she asked worriedly.

'No' Christine said quickly 'no… oh Meg! He demands too much of me!' she said as she embraced her friend tightly 'I cannot do it!'

'But you must!' Meg insisted 'or else the Phantom…'

'The Phantom has suffered enough, no more of this!' Christine cried 'no more…' letting go of Meg, Christine looked up at the sky once again. '_His spirit and my voice, in one combined…_' she mused softly, her sweet voice reaching Eriks ears, he could never resist it. 'I will come along soon, Meg, you must also get ready, I will not be long'

'If Raoul wants to see you…'

'Do not let him. _No more_…' she repeated quietly. Meg nodded her head and smiled at Christine fondly before entering the warmth of the opera house once more. The young brunette sighed quietly, composing herself before turning and heading for the door.

'_Love me, that's all I ask of you…_'

She spun round to look but there was, as always, nothing.

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A/N: Thanks for reading this, it's not brilliant, nor highly original but hopefuly you enjoyed it. Please R/R so I can try and get better, thank you. 


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